I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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