my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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