he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
