Dual....:-)
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Randomize
