i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize