her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
