How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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