the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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