what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
