Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
There r osticjed everywhere
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
