Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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