so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
