your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
