Your tits are I can't wait for
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
