i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
