We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
