And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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