that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize