I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
