Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
