bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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