Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
