I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
