nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize