i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
