did you get engaged???
I'm lost and stupid without you.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
