where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
