Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
