So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
