all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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