she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
