porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
