So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Found your dick twin last night
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
