We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Ladies don't puke and tell
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
