Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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