my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
