she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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