Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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