i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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