oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I just had sex on a roof
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
