K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Randomize
