I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
