he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
