She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
