So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
