I wish I could punch you in the face.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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