Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
