I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
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