my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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