the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
