i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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