Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
