I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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