used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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