what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
