drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
it's great music for shaving your balls
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
All I want is dick and wine.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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