Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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