i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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