Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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