god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
