you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
