Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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