I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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