You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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