idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Dignity is for republicans.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
