dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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