you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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