Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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