What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Randomize
