the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
