So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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