she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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