I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize