She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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