WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize